To A Bright Yellow

Listing, Not Listless.

2011-07-12T01:56:00.005-04:00

Sometimes I get so angry that I'm still so angry. I cried tonight for the second time today, while lying face down on my pillow that smells of must and shampoo. Two big tears dispersed right into the pillowcase as I allowed myself three or four good sobs.

That's all I get. A sob or two, and then I'm done. My body can't take it. After what was essentially an entire January filled with tears, it's like I've used up my quota for reckless crying, and now have to justify each effort to produce even a minor whimper. And as much as I'd like to blame these tears on betrayal, I'm really just at a point where the exhaustion has set in so much that my mind, when allowed a moment to go blank, immediately hurls itself towards that dark and twisty place where I wasn't good enough.

This is just as much an indictment of myself as anything else. Only I let myself get to that point, and only I am the one who limits the tears. Only I knew what I knew. Only I let it lie.

I've pushed hard over the past few weeks, but not hard enough. I've worked hard over the past few weeks, but not hard enough. There's time, yet, to find my mettle, but it better come quickly and come strong. There's no crying in baseball.

A Short Goodbye

2010-07-20T14:27:00.003-04:00

This blog has served its purpose and I am mostly closing up shop. Maybe I will stop by once in a while to say hi; maybe I will simply close my eyes and remember all of the feelings that jumbled out onto this space. Here, I went from tired to torrid and back again, occasionally falling into normalcy. I want to move on from those old collections and start again, building my persona differently this time.

For those of you who know me personally, I will be starting a new blog, which will be less intimate in some ways and intimately personal in others. You can contact me for that information. For those of you who do not know me personally, I wish you all the best in the internet ether. Be well. Cook often.

Help Meee.

2010-05-09T02:50:00.003-04:00

Can someone please do my laundry, clean my apartment, and feed me food that is not pizza, Twix, sushi from Whole Foods, or Burrito Box? Please? Pleeeeeeeeeease? I'll love you forever. I promise. Consideration and all.

Left the library at 2am again. Trying to wind down by watching terrible TV. Not working. Just want to be done.

It's just a jump to Stack 6
Put your books on your right
Put your hands on your Mac
And pull your chair in tight
Well it's the hunger pains
That really drive you insane
It's time to outline again!

On Being Sick, or I've Watched 3 Hours of Grey's Anatomy Reruns and a Red Sox Game

2010-05-03T22:45:00.002-04:00

It has happened again. Last year, during spring semester finals, the season changed from spring to dead summer abruptly, and I got sick. This always happens to me at the season cusps; my immune system apparently is terrified of change and goes into hyperactive "EVERYTHING IS BAD! REJECT ALL INTRUDERS!" mode upon any sign of 75+ degree weather. Last year, in my Property review session, I had already sneezed twelve times before my professor looked at me and said "um, are you okay?" in front of my 80 person section. "Just fine," I replied, while honking into my 26th tissue of the afternoon.

Yesterday it set in again while I was in the library, working on studying for my Evidence exam. I could feel the snot dripping down my nasal passages and the sinuses behind my eyes starting to swell, and I knew. I just knew. And the worst part is that there is absolutely nothing I can do except drug up, live through it, and invest in Kleenex. Today I went to my internship, came home, and tried to work, but the words got all dizzy on the page. So, you know, I was forced into watching Grey's Anatomy reruns and then the Red Sox game. Absolutely forced. I didn't want to do it. Really.

Anyway, now that the Sox won 17-8 and Denny's LVAD wire is cut, I should probably get back to learning the rules of Evidence. Time for some more Airborne.

Law School Therapy

2010-03-30T00:38:00.004-04:00

"Okay I will remind you of something funny you did: when X and I were about to leave (maybe around 2?) you were like 'I know what you guys are gonna do, you guys are gonna go home and have sex!' Hahaha, I just started laughing thinking about that. It was true, obviously, but not at all what I was expecting you to say. Amazing."

I have the best group of law school friends from my 1L section that ever existed. Our email chains routinely exceed 100 items and get knocked into second threads, and we often have multiples going on at one time. Each has its own nuanced style as we go through the rhythms of our day, ebbing and flowing with bedtimes and awake times, busy times and free times. We discuss annoying professors, evaluate Etsy purchases and share details about our sex lives. And I cannot emphasize how important that last point is: having girlfriends who actually talk about sex is a very new thing for me. Because of that, I have become more comfortable, more open and more bold. With these friends, it just feels right.

I've always had an easy time making friends. I'm chatty, personable, non-threatening and mostly innocuous at first meeting. It's a skill I'm very proud of, and it's nice to know that I can still rely on it when necessary.

Circular.

2010-02-25T01:24:00.005-05:00

Today I had a dark and twisty kind of day, as pregnancy and engagement news filed in from various corners of friends and acquaintances. I'll be the first to tell you that I do not want to be married right now, nor pregnant, nor would I like to be responsible for a fish, let alone a child. I'm in law school. I don't have a life, and I admire those who have children, work full-time, and then come to school at night. (I met one woman the other day who does exactly this and I just wanted to give her a hug and offer to carry her backpack around for her - she must be exhausted.) I have no desire to be responsible for anyone other than myself at the moment.

But that doesn't mean that I won't occasionally look at where I am in life and wonder at how different it is than what I had, at various times, hoped and dreamed it would be. I'm not married, I don't live in Brookline in the good school district, I'm not a year away from having my first child, and I don't work in book publishing (nor am I in Cantorial School.) But at one point in my life, that was exactly my end goal. I told myself I wanted to start having children by age 30 because my mother hadn't started until 34 and she had always seemed so old compared to the other mothers. (In some cases that was true, as one friend's mother was 14 years younger than mine. In other cases my mother just appeared to be so much older than everyone else because that's just the way she is. I have to imagine that as a child, in some respects, she must have been 16 going on 60.) In reality, I'll turn 30 three months before I graduate next year, and certainly beginning a career is the exact wrong time in which to begin planning a family.

Aren't I allowed to mourn this in some respect? I don't live in the burbs (nor do I want to) and I don't drive a car (ditto) but aren't I allowed to mourn the person who I was who wanted those things at the time she thought would be just perfect for her? I'm not necessarily sad that I don't have those things, but maybe more sad that the ideas I had for myself then were so short-sighted.

I would have never imagined myself going to law school. I'm sad for the version of me who existed then who never believed in herself enough to imagine something as big as that.

On the Move

2010-02-02T23:05:00.002-05:00

This weekend, I'll be heading home for a bit - partially to celebrate my mother's birthday, partially to work an event in Boston on Saturday night. I get to be in charge, which is yay, but have to cat-herd, which is ew. It's always fun, however, when people come up to you and say "oh my G-d, are you X person? It is SO COOL to meet you!" And then I feel awesome even though the event I'm working, to many, is really really lame.

Then, next weekend, it's off to California to see The Magician. I'm thankful for Virgin Air's fare sales and donated frequent flyer miles from my parents. I wouldn't be able to do this otherwise. I hate the distance and I hate the waiting and I hate the fact that the fucking Concorde doesn't exist anymore. Going back and forth is exhausting, and I'm ready for it to be summer again.

All this moving makes me clean less and need more. I need more from my life, I need more effort of my own, and I really need to start getting some shit done this semester. Argh. Self, consider this your kick in the ass.

Step, Step, Step

2010-01-08T21:47:00.003-05:00

Hello. Today I went on my first run.

Ever.

No, not really. And it wasn't even a run. But it was a start. Six minutes walking, one minute running. Repeat three times. Increase until 8 weeks from now, I can run 30 minutes without dying. Or so they tell me. It's not a lot, I know. But I just got so pissed that all the people I know run and I don't. And they all can do it. And they LIKE it. So, I kept thinking, why can't I do it? Why can't I like it?

So...here we go. I'm running. Kind of.

La La La

2009-12-04T19:12:00.004-05:00

It's finals time. So you know what that means, right? It's procrastination time!!! Yaaaaaaay!

No, seriously, it is procrastination time. So far today, yes, I've gotten through a number of pages on my Corporations outline, but I've also wasted a lot of time reading the Internet and being talked into watching part of Jersey Shore (my reaction: "Man, I hope none of these people are Jewish. We already get enough flack as it is.")

And here I am, writing a blog entry on my much-neglected blog. I did an internship this semester. It was only okay. For future reference, only do an internship with a place where it is abundantly clear that they have their shit together. Cause when they don't, you end up with either weeks of nothing to do, or being asked to make telephone calls for your supervisor that have nothing to do with legal work. Sigh. Next semester will be so much better, when I have an internship with a reputable company whose office internet doesn't crash three times per day.

In other news, I have a finals headache. Sigh. There is no other news right now other than finals, is there. Oh well.

Take a Bite

2009-11-13T21:40:00.006-05:00

Seen in my neighborhood:

Me: It's just so pretty.
Seb: If something happened, some big catastrophe, and all of us died here, the archaeologists and anthropologists who dug us out would probably think that this was a temple.
Me: Yeah. You've even got a giant Apple-shaped sun to worship.

As we were standing in front of the yet-to-be-opened store today, admiring the new look and gawking at the people already standing in line for tomorrow, five firetrucks zoomed right up to the curb. Either something must have tripped an alarm in the store, or the firemen were just testing out to see how fast they could get there in an emergency (but I'm pretty sure that Apple, while powerful, does not quite have the pull to get fire department tests.) It was pretty funny, though, because once the firetrucks showed up with sirens wailing, everyone in the area came running and people with cameras appeared out of nowhere and started shooting, just in case something happened.

Does having an Apple store open in your neighborhood mean the neighborhood has made it, or is it just going to be another inconvenience to walk around? Regardless, it is pretty stunning...and I'm sure I'll grow to appreciate having a Genius Bar just a few blocks away.

Wait 'Til Next Year

2009-10-14T14:03:00.001-04:00

Last night, I dreamed that I was at Tanglewood for a concert, and during the intermission, members of the Red Sox came out to throw souvenir baseballs to the crowds on the lawn. Varitek, Papi and Papelbon came out, and Papelbon came right by me. As he did, I shouted "Johnny, it's going to be okay! We still love you!" and he turned and came over to me and said "thanks, I appreciate that" and then I gave him a hug and he cried on my shoulder.

I'm not joking, that was really my dream.

16 Years Later, And I'm Still the Same

2009-10-12T14:43:00.005-04:00

I feel like I have to write about this. Like it's my duty as a 21st-century Jew to tell you all about what happened to me on Saturday night, and how I was so shocked that it did that I couldn't even work up a response. Because, as I said to Dani later, "that hasn't happened to me since I was in sixth grade, and one of my classmates told me to go 'pick up a penny like a Jew.'"

I don't like to be particularly detailed in my posts here, mostly because I really don't need the people in my law-school-cum-high-school to know who I am. But this deserves detail, this deserves something more.

On Saturday night, Dani and I were standing on Amsterdam Avenue outside of Land Thai Kitchen. To paint the scene, this is an area of the Upper West Side that I refer to as "frat row" because it is on the same stretch as Brother Jimmy's, The Gin Mill, Jake's Dilemna, and other fratty bars. While we were waiting for friends inside Land, a middle-aged African American man came up to us to ask for money. He said "I'm asking you for some change, but I'm not like everyone else, I'll recite a poem for you" and started to do so. As he continued, Dani and I both apologized and said that we would not be giving him any money.

At this point, he looked at me and said "you know, you Jews are all the same. You're all alike. You know, your money doesn't do you any good when you hold onto it so tightly. You can't take it with you. You fucking Jews, you don't know what it means to give."

Yeah, okay, I have curly brown hair. And yeah, okay, I've got a Jewish nose. But what right did that give this man to judge me and who I am based on my religion? I was so shocked that someone was saying this to me on the Upper West Side of New York fucking City in 2009 that I just looked at Dani and started to cry while she made every attempt to tell this guy to fuck off and go away. And though it took a good 3 minutes for her to convince him to leave, he did.

No one has the right to disparage me because of outdated religious stereotypes. It is so hard to believe that 16 years after my first and only exposure to direct anti-Semitism, I encountered it again on the Jews' home turf.

In case you didn't know, anti-Semitism is alive and well, and begging for change on the Upper West Side.

Question

2009-10-07T14:49:00.001-04:00

How do you make it through a month with less than $100 in your bank account?

Today, On the Elevator In My Building

2009-09-20T17:56:00.002-04:00

Me: [holding law textbooks]
Woman, standing with her elderly father: Are you a law student?
Me: Yes.
Woman: Well, my father here retired after 50 years practicing, and I've been a lawyer for 37 years.
Her father: The bar association gives you a plaque when you reach 50 years!
Woman: I don't know whether to congratulate you or give you my condolences.
Me: Well, I don't know whether to laugh or cry about it, so I understand the sentiment.

Here We Go Again

2009-09-13T22:38:00.004-04:00

In the history of my blog, this is a post you saw coming from miles away, right?

I am worried. As Saturday inches closer and closer, I am worried about how I am going to deal with The Magician going back to school. The last time we did this was different: we had been dating for only a few weeks, so we never knew much other than "hey I like this person and it kind of sucks that he's moving away but if it is supposed to work out, I'm sure it will." We stumbled through long-distance communication, spending hours on the phone and sending so many text messages that I had to switch my cellphone carrier and get a phone with a QWERTY keypad just to keep up. Since he's been here with me, it's been like a walking dream - too long to feel short-term, but with the knowledge that it was going to have to end. That end is coming soon, and I am scared.

I am scared because of how I generally react to traumatic things in my life (see my life circa 2002, see also my life circa 2007) and how I can never predict when it's going to hit. Sometimes, when dealing with trauma, I floor even myself in ways that are completely unpredictable. Maybe it'll be the first time I do the laundry without him to carry it upstairs, or when I walk by a certain building he always commented on, but I do know only two things: it will be unexpected, and I will fall hard. These two things are my M.O., and it can be absolutely debilitating.

I'll do the usual, of course: prepare myself in the best ways I can, spend time with as many friends as possible, bake lots, leave notes hidden in his suitcase. Hopefully the small things I can do will get me through, because I just don't know how else to do it. But if you see me soon, be kind. I've got a tender heart just now, and I could use any propping-up that I can get.

All Right Until the Rising Sun

2009-08-30T21:50:00.000-04:00

Here I am, back in the saddle, and my overwhelming first observation is one of ease: school goes so much more smoothly as someone who has been through it before. 2L year is a breeze of waltzing into school and laughing at 1Ls freaking out in the hallways. This year I have an office in the basement of the school - in it, we get to write the script for the law school musical or, more likely, sit around and pretend like we're going to do work when we actually won't be. I like the idea of having an office. It's great for when I don't actually want to be around anyone at school, or for when I need to really pound the books for an hour. You know, like I should be right now.

It is different, though, this 2L business. Professors expect insight instead of ignorance, studiousness instead of stupidity. And though I think I'm capable of each, I'm still struggling with how to shine the best that I can. I may just be a small person quietly Bluebooking or researching her tiny section of a bench memo, but I'm hoping that this year will let me figure it all out.

Pauline Would Be So Proud

2009-08-11T16:14:00.001-04:00

My Jewishness knows no bounds. The carafe of my coffeemaker broke this morning. I replaced it with the other coffeemaker that I had in the closet.

Needing Control.

2009-08-11T01:35:00.003-04:00

I have a hive on my pinky.

Poor baby. She's got a hive on her pinky. No one cares. I care! Do you understand how annoying this is? It's completely unpredicable! One day I wake up and no hives. Next day, hives all over my arms. Next day, nothing. Next day, pinky. I can't control it and it's driving me up the wall so much that I went and looked up all of my textbooks online. Because textbooks? Textbooks I can control.

I crave control in my life. I like telling people what to do and when. I like telling The Magician that it's his turn to wash the dishes, or that he has to carry the laundry for me. I like meting out my schedule in tiny bits to others. Going down to 15-minute blocks. It doesn't matter that some days I'm derailed by 11am, and some days I don't stick to it all. I just like the process of scheduling.

I cannot schedule this. I'm going to have to take it as it comes. Even if that's in the middle of an interview with a law firm. "Excuse me, I need to go deal with my pinky for a moment."

An Open Letter to CVS's Generic Version of Zyrtec

2009-07-22T15:41:00.004-04:00

Dear CVS's Generic Version of Zyrtec,

Thank you. No, seriously, thank YOU. Before consuming you yesterday, my body was an autoimmune mess and probably one more reaction away from landing itself in the emergency room. You see, my body reacts to THINGS THAT ARE NOT THERE. It is stupid and annoying and itchy. It sometimes makes my face look like someone punched me. It led my 7th-grade English and History teacher to call me a duck-billed platypus. It led me to have to re-write my 7th-grade advisory student council speech to include phrases such as "you think this is bad? You should have seen the other guy." I lost. (Side question: who seriously votes against the girl with the face that looks like someone punched her who jokes about it in her speech? Honestly. 7th graders suck.)

I thought I had outgrown it. Once a year, my face would tingle and I would say "oh HELLO autoimmune reaction for no reason, nice to see that you are still around," and then I would punch it in its face with Claritin. But then Claritin decided it was weak and no longer worked. And so, for the last month, I've been taking more and more, but the autoimmune reaction defied my Claritin-wielding and stayed.

But you, CVS's Generic Version of Zyrtec, you have transformed me. No longer am I a walking red welt, no longer do I have to avoid sleeves. Last night, I did not wake up 12 times to cry or shift or whine to The Magician. I slept soundly. Sure, my body is probably going to be fucked up for life (thanks for the disease, Dad!) and I will singlehandedly support more than one CVS store with my purchases, but whatever. Hello, I can breathe!

In conclusion, thank you, and fuck you Claritin, which never worked well enough and used to be less expensive when it was prescription-only.

Love,
Sara

R-Week

2009-07-17T09:12:00.002-04:00

Last night: stellar meal at Perry St. Today, lunch at L'Ecole. Tonight: dinner at Park Avenue Summer. Next week: The Modern. And the day after that? The day after that is the day I stop eating forever.

Sell Your Old Shit and Get Money

2009-07-15T11:07:00.001-04:00

Get Cash For Your Gadgets at gazelle.com!

For real. No joke.

Writing Competition and Moot Court

2009-07-13T22:52:00.001-04:00

So there I was, at the beginning of the summer, back in the library for the writing competition. For the uninitiated, this is a four-day period in which you must edit (for spelling and Bluebook citation errors) a long student-written article, and then write your own "student note" based on 10+ sources that they give to you in a very intimidating "packet" at the start of the competition. (I never thought I could be so terrified of a manila envelope.) The sources include caselaw, law review articles, magazine articles and printouts from online resource guides. The various legal journals at school will then offer staff positions based on your performance.

You might be sitting there thinking "oh, that's not bad, you just edit an article and then write your own in four days. That's a ton of time!" No. It's not. Trust me. I think I slept a total of about 10 hours in those four days. Editing Bluebook citations takes (in "The Sandlot" voice) FOR-E-VERRRR. You have to nitpick, going through every single letter individually to be sure that there are the requisite number of spaces between each punctuation mark, and it's not uniform. At all. I like editing, but not when the rules are arbitrary. And once you finish that, then you have to write a 10-page note, complete with endnotes, on a legal topic WHICH YOU HAVE NEVER HEARD OF BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE. By the end of this process, you've written so many endnotes (I had seven pages) and questioned whether Id. should be underlined so many times (yes, and the period should be underlined as well) that you write a really, really punchy title to your note that may or may not make sense. (I titled my writing competition note based on a British rock band most popular in the early 1980s. So be it.)

And then, once you've handed that in and slept for three days straight, you turn right back around and head to the library again to write a Moot Court competition brief. Because, as we said in the law school musical, "journals are for band geeks, and Moot Court is for prom queens and quarterbacks!" I may be none of the above, but I still wanted to give it a shot.

My awesome partner and I managed to write our brief on time (writing an appellate brief is so much easier when you've done it before and kind of know what you're doing) and argued in two rounds of competition. The nice part was that it confirmed for me that my performance in my legal writing oral argument wasn't a fluke - I'm actually good at it! And although it was still just as nerve-wracking to be standing in the giant moot courtroom with the judges looking down on you from on high, I was still thrilled every time I made a good point. It's incredibly satisfying when you catch that your opponent has referenced a fact from the case incorrectly, and you get to tell the judges that your opponents are wrong.

The results from both of these activities were great. I got offers from all five specialty journals at school, and next year I will be joining the staff of the IP journal. And although I did not advance to the next round of the Moot Court competition, through a selective interview process I was offered a staff position on the board for next year! I'm so thrilled that I will be able to participate in both.

Thanks again to all who put up with my delirium through these events. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

Try to Remember

2009-07-11T14:26:00.003-04:00

I just left my debit card in a restaurant check envelope for the second time in two months. If you want to steal my money, you should probably just trail me into all of the places I eat. I'm bound to leave my card again at some point.

There's a judge on the 4th Circuit Court of Appeals who just resigned because she has been diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's. Although she is capable of performing her duties still, she did not want any of her decisions made post-diagnosis to be questioned later.

Sometimes I worry that is going to be me. One grandmother with dementia, one grandmother with Alzheimer's, and a mother who is starting to joke about having "senior moments."

What if, one day, I wake up and I've forgotten everything?

Delerium

2009-07-07T13:01:00.004-04:00

The Magician came home late last night, after I had been asleep for an hour, because he had a magic show (yes, this name is not for show) and then went out afterwards. In a sign that my brain is messed up, as he climbed into bed, I asked "how was your argument?" He replied, "you mean, the magic show?" I said, "no, the moot court...I'm tired."

I argued in the moot court competition last week and the week before, and while I didn't advance to the quarterfinals, I did get invited to interview for a spot on the team. This is a good sign. I'm really good at interviews. (Thanks are due to all the high school juniors and seniors that I interviewed for college admissions. You guys did a great job of displaying what not to do in interviews.)

In addition, my efforts in the writing competition did not go unnoticed: I got offers from all five of the journals I was eligible for. I knew I had a good eye for editing for a reason.

In short: things are going well.
In slightly less short: being on a journal is very exciting. Being on moot court would be even more exciting. Even so, it's really, really good to know that I can compete at my school. For all the work it took to get in there, this has shown me that I truly did belong.

Hindsight Can Be 20/20 If You're Mature Enough to Realize It

2009-07-06T22:59:00.005-04:00

Here's a lesson for you: an apology can mean just as much 10 years late than it would have at the time.

My brother D and I have not always had a good relationship. In high school, he ridiculed me for anything and everything, called me all kinds of names, told me I was fat and ugly, and made jokes about how I would never have a boyfriend. (Yes, this all from a 16 year old who still turned away when seeing people kiss in the movies.) We clashed, and often. My parents did little about it, instructing me to "let it roll off my back" because D was sensitive and they were worried about criticizing him. This made our relationship immensely difficult.

The first sign of hope I saw was during my first semester of college. D called me in a moment of frustration while getting yelled at by our mom. It was the first sign in years that he saw any value at all in our relationship. D has since started a graduate program in psychology, and seems to be recognizing some things he regrets. Earlier today, we were chatting about our parents, and then this happened:

D: yeah, you have options. i strongly suggest you try something different, because whatever it is you're doing ain't working. the ultimate possibility is that you can do everything right and you'll still be hearing about it from her about how you're ugly or something
btw, what are the criticisms that she's levvying on you lately?
me: oh, I'm fat
didn't you know?
:-P
every time I eat half a fucking cookie she looks at me like she's going to die
D: heh, yeah. on behalf of my teenage self, i'm sorry for being a douchebag back then
me: and each morsel of crumb i put in my mouth is bringing her closer
D: i was a real prick. i'm sorry
me: thank you, I appreciate that.
I wasn't always the nicest to you, either, and I am sorry as well.
D: thanks. fortunately, being in this program has given me a bit of perspective, and that's one area of my life that i would have done differently if i weren't so naive
me: Such is life...hindsight can be 20/20 if you're mature enough to realize it
D: but i was, and i was pretty mean

I can't tell you how shocking this was. I was floored. I didn't know what to say, except to thank him for realizing in retrospect how much he had hurt me. And you know what? I didn't care that it was 10 years late. Not one bit.

Reasonable Suspicion

2009-06-25T14:59:00.002-04:00

A selection of responses to some choice quotes from SAFFORD UNIFIED SCHOOL DISTRICT #1 ET AL. v. REDDING:

"If a student is reasonably suspected of giving out contraband pills, she is reasonably suspected of carrying them on her person and in the carryall that has become an item of student uniformin most places today."
Really, Souter? A carryall? You're funny.

"The common reaction of these adolescents simply registers the obviously different meaning of a search exposing the body from the experience of naked-ness or near undress in other school circumstances. Changing for gym is getting ready for play; exposing for a search is responding to an accusation reserved for suspected wrongdoers and fairly understood as so degrading that a number of communities have decided that strip searches in schools are never reasonable and have banned them no matter what the facts maybe, see, e.g., New York City Dept. of Education, Reg. No. A–432, p. 2 (2005), online at http://docs.nycenet.edu/ docushare/dsweb/Get/Document-21/A-432.pdf (“Under no circumstances shall a strip-search of a student be conducted”)."
Screw you, Justice Breyer and your joking about other people putting things in your underwear during the oral argument in this case.

"I have long believed that “‘[i]t does notrequire a constitutional scholar to conclude that a nude search of a 13-year-old child is an invasion of constitutional rights of some magnitude.’”"
I love you, Justice Stevens.

"Redding would not have been the first person to conceal pills in her undergarments . . . [n]or will she be the last after today’s decision, which announces the safest place to secrete contraband in school."
You're kidding me, Thomas. Really. You're kidding. Right? No? Shit. Fuck you.

Let the Sunshine In But Don't Sing Out Loud or You Will Annoy Your Neighbor

2009-06-19T13:10:00.003-04:00

I have come to realize that I will never be able to go see the current revival of Hair on Broadway.

Last night was the induction ceremony for the Songwriters Hall of Fame, and because of my internship I was able to get a ticket (not to the dinner, but to watch the show from the balcony.) People from other music organizations were there, and it was a fun event with lots of surprise and exciting performers (showing the relative age of the audience, James Taylor got one of the most excited receptions.) Rob Thomas honored Jason Mraz with the Starlight Award for a new songwriter, saying "I hate you. You've ruined the curve for everybody. You're kind of young, and you're cute and you're just too talented and I think you should stop." And Mraz, adorable in his acceptance, said "songwriting either makes you spiritual or a crazy person, and if it’s not doing either one of those things then you’re doing it wrong."

But last night, the last honorees were Galt MacDermot, James Rado and Gerome Ragni, who wrote "Hair." And what way could they honor the music from Hair except by having Marilyn McCoo and Billy Davis, Jr. (of The Fifth Dimension) sing Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In. And what else do you do when you're two steps from the theater in which Hair is playing? Of course, you make it the 11 o'clock number and have the cast of Hair come in and dance all around like crazy people.

Here is my issue. They invited everyone to sing during the "Let The Sunshine In" part, and sing I did. Except...I had already been singing. I had been singing the entire freaking time. I CANNOT NOT SING TO THIS MUSIC. I KNOW EVERY SINGLE WORD TO THIS DAMN SHOW. I tried, sitting alone at home, to not sing along to the soundtrack. It did not work. I want it long, straight, curly, fuzzy, etc., and I want to sing every single fucking word.

Well, shit. Looks like I'm never going to see the show, since all I will do is bug the crap out of all the people sitting next to me. Unless I could make it so that I know all the people sitting next to me...

OK, just going to say it.

2009-06-15T19:32:00.002-04:00

I really, really don't understand what is happening in Iran.

There.

Am I stupid?

Snug.

2009-06-09T22:25:00.003-04:00

I realize it has been a while since I updated. Lack of motivation, or just the fact that The Magician is here and I need this outlet less? Who knows. Regardless, here I am. Basketball players who wear face masks look silly. The Red Sox just pulled out a beautiful win against the Yankees and all is right with the world.

I guess that's it. I don't need to blog right now because so much of what I am feeling gets absorbed by this other person. Even last night, when The Magician SLEPT THROUGH the giant thunderstorms that were happening outside, all I had to do was poke him and he sighed, turned over, and put his arm around me. He may have been asleep throughout the entire thing, but I felt better all curled up on his side of the bed, my back protected and my breathing matching his. Each time the thunder shook the apartment and I shuddered in fear (shut up, it was freaking loud) I was able to pull his arm closer around me. Fear means little when there is someone to hold you.

Stir-Fry for Picky Eaters (Or, "How to Feed Your Boyfriend and Eat Your Vegetables, Too")

2009-05-28T19:10:00.004-04:00

Cooking for The Magician has been a challenge. Every time I make something, I have to wonder "will he eat it? What if he the tomatoes in the tomato sauce are too big? What if he notices the fact that (oh dear G-d save us) there are GREEN ONIONS in something? What if he really hasn't told me the complete story and he's just an alien from a frozen planet where no plants grow and this is why he doesn't eat fruits or vegetables? You know, normal thoughts.

Tonight, I made a stir-fry that was pretty strictly adapted from Mark Bittman's How to Cook Everything, aka my bible. My only revisions (and they are Bittman-sanctioned, for he specifically states in the recipe that you can substitute vegetables and spices at-will) are that I used frozen peppers for my veggies (it's what I had on hand) and I doubled the amount of hoisin (because it is yummy and I like it.) Oh, and of course, the most important part: keeping the veggies away from everything else.

Make sure you chop, prepare and measure everything before you start cooking. This is really important, as things happen quite quickly. Here is what my mise-en-place looked like:

Stir-Fry for Picky Eaters (adapted slightly from "Stir-Fry Chicken with Broccoli or Cauliflower" by Mark Bittman in How to Cook Everything)
Serves 4 with rice
Prep Time: 25 minutes
Cook Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:
2 cups broccoli or cauliflower florets and stems, cut into bite-sized pieces (this is where I used pepper strips because that's what I had)
2 tbsp peanut oil
2 tbsp minced garlic
1 tbsp peeled and grated fresh ginger
1 cup sliced onion
1/2 cup trimmed and chopped scallions, plus minced scallion greens for garnish
12 ounces boneless, skinless chicken breast, rinsed and patted dry with paper towels, cut into 1/2 inch to 3/4 inch chunks
2 tbsp soy sauce
Salt and freshly ground pepper to taste
2 tbsp hoisin sauce
1/4 cup chicken or vegetable stock

1. Prepare your rice according to package directions, let cook while dealing with everything else.
2. Bring a medium pot of salted water to a boil; add the broccoli or cauliflower and cook for about 2 minutes, just long enough to remove the hardest crunch. Drain and plunge into cold water to stop the cooking, drain again. (Remove this step if you are using softer vegetables like peppers.)
3. Place wok or large, deep skillet over high heat. Add half the oil, swirl it around, and immediately add half of the garlic and ginger. Cook for 15 seconds, stirring, then add the onion and cook, stirring, for 2 minutes. Add the broccoli or cauliflower and all of the scallions and cook over high heat until the broccoli or cauliflower browns and becomes tender but not at all mushy, about 5 minutes. (This will take less time for peppers.) Season with salt and pepper.
4. Turn the heat to medium and remove the vegetables. Add the remaining oil to the pan, then the remaining garlic and ginger. Stir, then add the chicken. Raise the heat to high, stir the chicken once, then let it sit for 1 minute before stirring again. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the chicken has lost its pinkness, 3-5 minutes.
5. Add the soy sauce and toss. Season with salt and pepper, then stir in the hoisin. Add the liquid. Cook, stirring and scraping the bottom of the pan, until the liquid is reduced slightly and you've scraped up all the bits of chicken.
6. Garnish and serve immediately, scooping out some of the sauce with each portion. If you are going to eat the vegetables, I suggest putting them on top of the rice, and then putting chicken on top of that, so that the vegetables can get some of the sauce.
7. Under no circumstances do you tell the picky eater that there is hoisin sauce until after said picky eater has tasted the chicken and liked it.

Songs that Mean Summer

2009-05-22T11:02:00.002-04:00

1. My Doorbell - The White Stripes
2. More Than it Would Seem - Gabe Dixon Band
3. Happy Phantom - Tori Amos
4. Wordplay - Jason Mraz

I suppose the only unifying theme here is really just tempo. Though for each one of these songs, I first heard them in the summer, so maybe it's a temporal connection, and not just tempo.

Regardless, these have been circulating endlessly on my playlists recently. It's summertime, finally, and it finally feels like it outside, too. Can't wait for next week, which will include margaritas and rollercoasters. Hellooooooooo, summer. Nice to see you again.

Okay, this is for real now.

2009-05-18T10:02:00.001-04:00

I am officially done with the first year of law school. Any other work I have to do this summer will be for the purpose of doing stuff as a 2L. I turned in my note early (fuck you, 6:59:59!) and have tried not to think about it too much. (Even so, last night I had a dream that I had left a giant INSERT CITATION HERE in brackets in a footnote. I am done with law school for the year and am still dreaming about it. So lame.)

My summer schedule is finally starting to shape up, and now I realize I have two weeks with nothing to do until my job starts. I'm hoping to take some photography lessons from a friend and go back to Bollywood class (finally! I have missed it so.)

This past weekend, I went home for my 10 year high school reunion, which was great. Though I am pretty much in touch with everyone I care to be in touch with, it was wonderful seeing old friends, and especially seeing my favorite teacher of all time. After all of these years, there is still absolutely nothing like receiving praise for your writing from the person who really taught you how to write. I grinned and hugged her.

Here is my only responsibility for the day: buy cream cheese. I love being done.

Patience and Fortitude

2009-05-12T12:08:00.003-04:00

Dear Patience and Fortitude,

Hey. What's up, Lions? It's been a while. I know. I've forsaken you for a law library that is way less awesome than you are, but is open until 1am. It's a shame. You are pretty.

When I was studying for the LSAT, you were there for me 6 days a week with odd hours that no one could possibly remember. Your ornate ceilings distracted me from the fact that I wanted to tear my Kaplan books into many, many tiny pieces.

And now, one year later, I am asking for your help again. Please give me the patience not to throw my Bluebook out the window onto the Bryant Park lawn, and the fortitude to write a note on a topic I know nothing about.

Eternally grateful,
Sara

Announcement

2009-05-08T12:31:00.000-04:00

Guys. No, wait, seriously. Guys. GUYS!!!

I am a 2L!

As someone said in a toast at the bar yesterday afternoon (we went straight from our exam to the bar, of course), "guys, we are done with what everyone tells us will be the worst year of our lives."

Amazing.

Quick Notes

2009-05-05T21:11:00.003-04:00

Went to Yankee Stadium last night for the first time to try and catch a Sox/Yanks game. I told my mother that I was going to wait until 8:30 if it was raining and then go home, but of course I ended up staying for 4 innings in the rain with Bridget. After the end of the 4th inning, which was also 11pm, I called it quits with the knowledge that I had a ton of studying to do today. Of course, my brother immediately mocked me by asking if it was time to reserve me a room at the assisted living facility where my grandmother used to live.

Some notes from baseball land:
- Nick Swisher looks like Jason Giambi with that hair sticking out of his batting helmet.
- I hate Michael Kay with a passion.
- My fantasy teams both suck.
- The new Yankee Stadium isn't as cool as the new Taxpayer Field. And Taxpayer Field has better food.

Some notes from law school land:
- It sucks.

Oy.

2009-04-28T14:02:00.001-04:00

Me: THEO!
Mom: I know, but I just wish they had named him Theo instead of Theodore. Theodore is an awful name.
Me: Um, well, then you should have named Jamie Jamie instead of Benjamin.
Mom: Well, in retrospect, maybe I should have.
Me: Glass houses, mom. Glass houses.
Mom: With very large stones, I know.

Overheard In Front of My Building

2009-04-26T09:12:00.001-04:00

Woman, to her older dog trailing behind her on the leash: "Oh, come on Oliver, could you please be a dog that walks?"

Wrapping Up

2009-04-22T23:34:00.004-04:00

I am exhausted. Burnt out. Drained. Wrecked. Any other way you could say it, my brain is revolting against me and I am done.

Exams soon, last day of 1L classes sooner. On one hand, it can't come fast enough. On the other hand, what the hell, I don't know anything and am totally unprepared to write exams.

Time for nose to the grindstone. I'll see you on the other side.

Notes from the Desk

2009-04-17T08:27:00.000-04:00

I wrote an entire blog entry in my head last night as I was getting ready for bed. It had perfect rhythm and a beautiful feel to it. And I thought, as I climbed into bed knee-first, that I should probably write it down. It's gone, of course, lost in the mix of my dreams about sleeping through my exams and The Magician writing me a letter on a deck of cards.

And now, here I sit, stymied again. I'll be late to class again today, running in at the last second, hoping my professor doesn't notice as I slip into my aisle seat. I'm ready to be done with school for a while, ready to get back into the rhythm of 9-5. All the stress school has caused, I confess, has made me feel pretty dumb. I'm ready to get back to accomplishing real-life goals, even if they're as simple as figuring out the owner of a song. (From where I sit, this seems simple. In real life, I know, this is a question whose answer can take years to discover.)

I've stopped pulling out the grey hairs from my head. It's starting to get pointless, and frankly, it kind of hurts. Let's hope this summer will reverse some of the aging that's been going on due to law school stress. Take it from me. If you're scared of going grey, don't go to law school.

Bananananananananana.

2009-04-13T11:28:00.001-04:00

I would like to take a minute to thank Wendy, salesperson extraordinaire.

First, I must say, all hail the Chestnut Hill Mall Banana Republic and its selection of petites. Thank goodness someone realized that just because you're short doesn't mean you should have to pay an extra $10-$20 just to be able to wear the clothes you've bought. Their selection takes up more than one room. SHORT PEOPLE. MORE THAN ONE ROOM!!! I do not have to tell short people how momentous this is. You know. But normal people and tall people can never quite understand. Imagine walking into a store that purports to sell "women's clothing" and be told that only two racks will fit you. That's what it's like for short people. SO THIS IS AMAZING. Ahem. Anyway. Moving right along.

So my mother and I were shopping for a suit for me. I tried on every suit they make, but the cuts were strange, so we gave up on that idea. However, Banana was running a special where every dress they make was $98 or less. Since I'll be working in a business casual environment this summer, dresses were perfect.

Enter Wendy. She was amazing. My mother is a VERY demanding customer, and Wendy never faltered when asked for new sizes or to check stock for certain things. She helped us find hidden discounts, too. The best part was when I was trying on a dress that I clearly loved and my mother did not. My mother asked Wendy for her opinion, and she looked at me and said "it fits her perfectly, because it comes in just under the bust and then floats away from the body. Just like Stacey and Clinton say to do in 'What Not To Wear.'" Well, that sold my mother immediately (the only thing more effective would have been "Oprah bought it") and I got to keep the dress I liked.

So thank you Wendy, for saving us money and for engineering it so that I got one of the dresses I wanted. And thank you Banana for having 5 billion dresses in petites. Honestly, the stuff in the store was some of the best-designed clothing I have seen in Banana in a very long time.

Wicked Un-Awesome

2009-04-10T18:03:00.002-04:00

On the Acela to Providence on Wednesday afternoon, I sat in front of two "merchant mariners" who worked on barges and tugboats in the New York Harbor who were heading up to do some extra work in Boston. They were clearly New England guys, complete with "hahd-coah" accents. I'm pretty sure one of them was drunk. Anyway, sitting right in front of them was hilarious...to a point. Their conversation, about a female coworker went something like this:

MM1: So ah, yeah, she's fine and all, but you know, once a month when she's on the rag, I just want to tell her to get off the fuckin' boat.
MM2: Yeah, I got ya.
MM1: Ya know, when you're tellin' one of the guys to do something, and they don't do it, you say 'go fuck yourself' and they'll get it done. You tell a woman that and she'll go cry in her bunk for an hour.
MM2: Yeah, and if you do tell her that, she'll accuse you of sexual harassment.
MM1: She thinks she's blazing trails or something. But really, if she's gonna be on the boat, she has to do the same amount of work we do. But she doesn't! She can't! She's a woman! But you can't fire her, because she'll go all lawsuit on ya.
MM2: Sucks, huh. Just sucks.

I started off laughing...and by the end of the conversation, wanted to throw my 20 pound constitutional law textbook at them. (In more ways than one. Title VII, anyone?)

Pckg 4U @ Frt Dsk

2009-04-05T11:00:00.004-04:00

I got a notice from my management company this week saying that they needed my email address so that the "building could communicate" with me. They want to start sending package notifications and updates via email (as opposed to the doorman leaving you a message and posting newsletters in the mailrooms.)

This whole idea is pretty laughable considering who I live with. Although my neighbors on one side are a young couple with two kids (who text me when they want to ask me to babysit), pretty much everyone else on my floor is 70+ and can barely hear their own telephones (which is why I can hear every single one of them in my apartment.) My building went co-op in the late 1960s, and most of the apartments are still owned by people who bought in at that time. My neighbors have granny carts. (Oh, who am I kidding, I want a granny cart. Scratch that one.) My neighbors use walkers and canes. My neighbors think it's funny when I outpace them down the hallway. My neighbors enjoy when my a cappella group comes over to rehearse because then they get to see "young people." How the building thinks it is going to "communicate" with these people is simply beyond me.

I suppose, however, that communication via email is best. Especially in lieu of the voicemails that I don't want to listen to.

Notes

2009-03-31T18:32:00.002-04:00

Every time I leave The Magician's apartment in California, I've left little notes for him hidden in places for him to find later after I've left. You know, just a little way to say "I love you" and that I'm thinking about him after I've gone back home. He's so cute about it, though - gets very frustrated when he can't find them. And I've certainly gotten more clever about where I've left the notes. He's still got five outstanding, including one that I left when I was there in January.

This time, it was his turn to leave me notes. I found them:
- on my bedside table
- on my full-length mirror ("You look pretty today")
- on the toilet seat (it said "Ha-Pee Birthday")
- on the hanger for my fleece jacket
- in my ConLaw book
- in my mailbox
- in the little silver box in which I keep my pitch pipe (he likes that I am the bigger Aca-nerd in the relationship)

This means I've got three left. I swear I've looked everywhere. Anyone who might have guesses as to where they are, do let me know.

Back to the Countdown

2009-03-29T18:38:00.003-04:00

This week was an exciting one. The performance of the law school musical was on Thursday and Friday, and my parents AND The Magician were there to see it! We had a lovely birthday brunch this morning, and my mom made cake, kugel and her own marshmallows.

I have to say, being in the musical was one of the highlights of second semester. After first semester, it is hard to convince yourself to go through the same routine of reading, outlining, study-grouping and worrying about exams. The musical gave me something super-fun to look forward to every week in rehearsal, and I made some great friends through it - friends who have very similar attitudes and senses of humor as I do. It makes me very happy to know that I have established a number of "home bases" at school.

Bust now, The Magician is en route back to California, and I am once again alone in my apartment. It's back to your regularly scheduled boring programming of reading, outlining, study-grouping and freaking out. Awesome.

Still...only 6 weeks until the summer. At least I have that!

Want Sparkly Things!

2009-03-21T13:57:00.004-04:00

Dear Me&Ro,

Why must you have such awesome jewelry that I cannot afford? Your pendants have my initials on the freaking display pictures. Why must you torture me so? I love the trinket with lotus petals. I love the seahorse pendant. I love pretty much every pair of earrings you make. (OK, maybe not the skulls.)

Someday I will be a lawyer and will make lots of money and then buy out your store. (It seems this is a refrain I've been beating to death recently. Someday I will make lots of money and live my life out of Restoration Hardware. Someday I will make lots of money and be Seb's patron. Someday Dani and I will make lots of money and buy brownstones in Brooklyn or Victorians in San Francisco next door to each other.)

Love,
Me&Yo

Stump the Book

2009-03-21T12:37:00.003-04:00

One of the games I like to play by myself when I have nothing to do is "Stump the Book." The book, in this case, being "How to Cook Everything" by Mark Bittman, and stumping it being "trying to think up something I want to cook that is not in the book." Everything is in this book. Everything. It is really, really fucking hard to stump the damn book.

Items on which I have won:
îles flottant
stuffed peppers (there is a corn-stuffed recipe but not a traditional meat-stuffed one)

Items on which I have lost:
kimchi (I made it and it was fantastic)
purple bell peppers (their existence and what to do with them)
soft-boiled eggs (one should not need a recipe for this, I know. But Bittman's egg technique made the perfect ones. Now all I need to learn is how to crack them open without getting shell all over the place.)
fiddlehead ferns
raita

Damn you, Bittman. You always win! But you also win in that this is the book I come back to time and time again for answers to basically every question I have. There is no doubt that this is the most valuable cookbook I own. I'll keep trying to stump the book, and if anyone wants to eat the fruits of my game, you know where to find me.

Bzzz!

2009-03-13T10:23:00.000-04:00

Lesson from Law School: if you're going to fall asleep in class, it's probably not a good idea to come to class in the first place.

There was a prospective student visiting our Civil Procedure class on Thursday, shadowing a friend of his from undergrad. He fell asleep during the middle of the class, with his head down flat on the desk. Once our professor noticed that he had fallen asleep, she walked up to him, hit the desk and shouted "helloooooooooo?!" And then, of course, she asked his name, asked what other law schools he was looking at. "I know that federal common law is boring, but wherever you go, you're going to have to deal with it." And then she proceeded to make fun of him for the rest of the class.

Needless to say, we're pretty sure that kid is never getting in here.

On My Way

2009-03-13T08:09:00.000-04:00

Oh HELL yes.

Consequence of Going to School With 22 Year-Olds

2009-03-09T12:31:00.003-04:00

Arie: did our classmate say she is 29?
Me: Yeah, she just turned 29. I turn 28 at the end of the month.
Arie: man you guys are fucking old
me: hey!!!!!!!
Arie: jk
Me: Whippersnapper.
Arie: no wonder you have your shit more together than me :)

Not Much To See Here, Move Along

2009-03-08T23:02:00.003-04:00

Much to my surprise, things have begun to take shape in the summer employment world for me. I have an offer from a job I'd love to do, and an interview on Tuesday for what is basically my dream organization to work for ever in life. Let's just say that Friday was an extremely satisfying day in my law school life so far.

My weekends have been taken up by rehearsal for the law school musical. We've been in rehearsals all day, every day, and it's tiring but fun. I can't wait until my friends get to see what I've been working on. And The Magician. And my parents. Did I mention that The Magician will be meeting my dad for the first time in just a few weeks? I barely have time to be nervous about this. My parents will be here to see the musical, which is during his spring break. Here is the conversation I had about this with my mother:

Mom: Dad and I are going to stay at H's the weekend we come for your show.
Me: Are you sure? The Magician and I don't mind if you stay here.
Mom: No, it's ok, not a problem. You should get to be alone with your boyfriend on your birthday.
Me [silently in my head]: Did my mother just arrange for me to have sex? Yup, I think that just happened.

Sometimes my mother is the most conservative woman in the world...and sometimes, she just gets it.

Cel-Ray, Anyone?

2009-03-07T18:23:00.001-05:00

Sometimes the most interesting things you do in law school are not actually the classes (big shock!) but the lectures you attend outside of class. This week, I had the opportunity to attend a lecture that was interesting in its own unique way.

I went to a lecture entitled "The Unbearable Wrongness of Roe." Those of you who know me well will wonder why I, a member of Law Students for Reproductive Justice, was in attendance at an event co-sponsored by the Catholic Law Student Association, the Federalist Society (a very conservative law student group) and the Pro-Life Law Students. In essence, many of the members of Law Students for Reproductive Justice were in attendance to see what the other side has to say.

The speaker is a Constitutional Law professor at a conservative law school in Minnesota. I was following his basic legal argument (Roe is radical, untenable, immoral and invalid) up until he stated the following things:
1) Supporting Roe v. Wade is like supporting Dred Scott
2) Abortion is the leading cause of death in the United States
3) Supporting abortion is like denying the Holocaust
4) Abortion is a black genocide.

Was I rolling my eyes in the back of the room and frustrated out of my mind? Yes. Was it eye-opening and did it inspire me to work harder on my side? Absolutely. I was wary of attending in the first place, worried that attendance might be seen as endorsement of the groups' policies. But then I realized that law school is a place designed to challenge your own beliefs. Attending the lecture was more about showing that I want to understand. And besides, eating their free lunch was really just making them fund a pro-choice initiative (i.e. me.)

Never underestimate the advantage in attending a school where the politically conservative Orthodox Jews control the Federalist Society. Lunch was pastrami sandwiches, half-sour pickles, and Dr. Brown's cream soda.

You're Kidding, Right?

2009-03-05T11:16:00.002-05:00

Christian Salt Seller Creates Alternative to Kosher Salt

Um. W. T. F.

Grey Lady

2009-03-04T22:20:00.002-05:00

Obama is Going Grey...

...and so am I. I now have many more grey hairs than I did when I started law school. This is not a coincidence. The article states that research has shown that stress contributes to hair turning grey. I guarantee that mine is due to law school stress.

All you potential law school applicants, be forewarned. You will likely go grey and need glasses by the time you graduate.

1Ls Can Do It All!

2009-03-04T22:02:00.003-05:00

Today I got to dance for an hour and it made me happy. I'm doing the Law School Musical, which is a parody show about, well, Law School. We were blocking one of the first numbers, and it involves a lot of dance for us "1Ls." I can honestly say that I've really missed dancing over the past few months. I had to give up Bollywood because it's on a night that always sucks for me, so getting to dance and sing with other law students is really a nice plus.

I think I surprised the directors with my ability to memorize choreography, too. I always knew I was pretty good at remembering, but I was the first in the group to pick it up today. Now if only I could dance and sing at the same time, I'd be totally golden. As soon as I tried to sing my parts along with the movement, I was totally lost. It's been a while since I've had to do them both at once! I'm sure I'll get better, though. There must be some reason why I was always in the dance sequences in high school. And no, it wasn't just because the choreographer was my best friend.

Permission to Freak Out?

2009-03-01T16:03:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the lack of posting. Friday was my oral argument and so I was busy freaking out.

Before our argument in the Moot Court Room, my partner and our two adversaries (including one of my closest friends at school) were pacing the hallway. We'd worked together the day before, asking each other questions and pointing out argument flaws. Didn't seem to help much; we were all filled with nervous laughter as we reviewed our notes one last time. I kept repeating case names in my head, hoping that something would stick. "Cifra v. GE. 2d Cir. 20 days causal connection. Reeves v. Sanderson Plumbing. SCOTUS. Correct standard for evaluating pretext." An attorney introduced himself in the hallway and chatted us up as we were standing there. He was a former partner of our writing professor, and would be our third judge for the day, along with our professor and T.A. He was very nice, telling us about when he has argued in front of the Second Circuit and how judges would fixate on one issue to the exclusion of others.

Of course, the second we got in the actual courtroom, he was vicious. I went first, and got interrupted with a question in the middle of my second point. My partner got interrupted in the middle of his first sentence. I managed to stay calm, answering every question that was thrown at me (even the one I didn't know the answer to. "Counselor, isn't it true that in Slattery we held that a close time connection isn't enough to create a causal connection?" [Ummm...crap...I have no idea.] "Yes, Your Honor. However, that case does not apply because of the other evidence of pretext my client has established." It was alternately both the longest and shortest 10 minutes of my life.

Fortunately, all of the commentary on my performance was great! They complimented me on my presence, saying that I remained calm under very difficult questioning, and never got thrown off. I guess all of those years of singing in front of audiences paid off! In reality, I had been shaking behind the podium the entire time.

My T.A. even suggested that I do the Moot Court competition over the summer. However, I'm pretty sure I'll be a very happy lawyer if I NEVER have to do that again!

Respectfully Submitted

2009-02-23T11:59:00.004-05:00

Yay! I turned in my 15-page appellate brief yesterday evening. 12 hours before the deadline. Everybody cheer!

In all seriousness, though it took a lot of time and involved a lot of stress, the end turned out to be not so difficult. As my friend told me, if you start with the district opinion and follow that, it basically writes itself. This was definitely the case for me. As soon as I started with the definition of that first law, I was on a roll. No major hiccups, no major freakouts. I maintained a generally high level of stressed-out-ness, but it was absolutely nothing I couldn't handle.

And that's the nice thing I've realized about the writing class this semester. Yes, they throw you in with no direction, no examples, and no help, but that's kind of the point. I've learned very quickly what is acceptable in legal writing and what isn't, and how to craft my arguments so that they make sense both legally and stylistically. I haven't needed to compromise too much on my own personal style, and the writing has it has all actually come quite naturally.

So, lesson learned? I may have complained throughout this entire process...but at least now I know what I'm doing.

There's A Place For Us

2009-02-21T07:15:00.001-05:00

I'm reasonably certain that I've been talking about this since I moved here.

I Go to Great Lengths for Good Brisket

2009-02-18T09:26:00.004-05:00

[Discussing a case where there was a BBQ restaurant in the south that was segregated, and talking about why a Congressional statute that required desegregation was constitutional under the commerce clause.]

ConLaw Prof: I mean, who would really travel 11 blocks off of the interstate highway just to look for a barbecue restaurant?
Me: Um, I would totally do that.

[ETA at 7:50pm]
My brother: Yeah, what's weird about that? I would so do that.

The Following Things Happened Yesterday

2009-02-17T16:59:00.003-05:00

1. I went to the airport for my 12pm flight from San Francisco to NYC.
2. I ran into one of my closest college friends in the middle of the airport. He was, true to form, sitting on the floor listening to his iPod and wearing the tshirt that I associate with him. He was en route back to DC having spent the weekend at Berkley.
3. My flight was delayed.
4. My flight was cancelled due to mechanical problems.
5. They rescheduled me on the red-eye.
6. The Magician came back to the airport, picked me up, and we went back to campus.
7. I realized that in the confusion of re-booking an entire 767 full of people, the ticket agent had kept my driver's license.
8. The Magician and I spent an hour trying to get through to the American ticket counter to no avail. Finally he called the First-Class Lounge and demanded their help. They did not find it, but did get me on the special security list for the plane.
9. I got through security with my law school ID, 3 credit cards, and a super-crazy-intense security check that I imagine they reserve for only the shadiest of people.

I am so exhausted.

Current Song in My Head

2009-02-11T15:17:00.002-05:00

you told me tales of love and glory
same old sad songs, same old story
the sirens sing no lullaby
and no one knows but Lorelei

castles out of fairy-tales
timbers shivered where once there sailed
the lovesick men who caught her eye
and no one knew but lorelei

river, river have mercy
take me down to the sea
for if I perish on these rocks
my love no more I'll see

I've thought of you in far-off places
and puzzled over lipstick traces
so help me god, I will not cry
and then I think of Lorelei

I travel far and wander wide
no photograph of you beside me
ol' man river's not so shy
and he remembers Lorelei

river, river have mercy
take me down to the sea
for if I perish on these rocks
my love no more I'll see

if I should float upon this stream
and see you in my madman's dream
I'd sink into your troubled eyes
and none would know 'cept Lorelei

river, river have mercy
take me down to the sea
for if I perish on these rocks
my love no more I'll see

but if my ship, which sails tomorrow
should crash against these rocks,
my sorrows I will drown before I die
it's you I'll see, not Lorelei

Running Commentary

2009-02-09T00:05:00.002-05:00

For those who don't get to read my Twitter. This is in backwards order...with minimal (minimal, I swear) edits.

Wishing all of my friends at Rounder congrats.

Should have gone to "In Rainbows."

I like the album, but Plant and Krauss were really boring on stage.

If you're Sir Paul, do you automatically get the best seat in the house wherever you go?

It's true - they still need our help. Check out the Disaster Accountability Project.

Oh-oh-oh! So good, so good, so good!!!!!!!! GO SOX!

Hearting the adorable old original member of the Four Tops. (And also Foxx.)

P.S. YES WE CAN

YES SECRETARY OF THE ARTS

YES MUSIC PERFORMERS SHOULD BE COMPENSATED FOR RADIO PLAY

Law school side note: reading Hamdan v. Rumsfeld makes me relive my anger at Bush.

I <3 you Mayer, but that was Mraz's award.

Impressive: Paul still sings this in the original key. I just checked.

Sir Paul! Still hot! One of my favorite songs!

T.I. is off-rhythm.

Well, I've seen better maternity clothes, but can't really blame her.

How come Allison won't talk?

Actually, America, it's not time to drive. It's time to fund mass-transit.

Interesting jacket choice, Kanye.

Backing music too loud. If you're overpowering Katy Perry, you're doing it wrong.

Tee hee, Jonas Brothers crowding Stevie Wonder. This is giggle-inducing.

YAYAYAYAY MRAZ!

J-Hud always looks and sounds gorgeous.

Tee hee, the mic is at Robert Plant's nose.

Neat guitar, Taylor Swift. Better than the bedazzled one she used last time I saw her.

YOU RUINED THIS SONG, KID.

I hate Kid Rock with passion.

BOOOOOOOOO. Should have been American Boy. Or NAGANA. Or I'm Yours. First award that I vehemently disagree with.

Sick of commercials parodying opera.

OK. Lets get some awards up in this place!

Carrie Underwood: get a new stylist. You have wings for sleeves.

Keith Urban is hot. I won't deny it.

This duet is horrible.

I feel like most of my updates are going to be "who"? Been out of the industry for 6 months/aka too long.

Simon Baker? Who?

If this is the thing that was just added to the schedule because of the Chris Brown/Rhianna fracas, I'd say it's impressively put together.

Every time someone says "Carrie Underwood" I think they're about to say "underwear."

Seriously? The Rock? Why?

Oh, J-Hud, I love you. And you look phenomenal.

Whitney looks a little out of it. But her dress fits her well.

Grammys live-twitter: 2 minutes in and bored by U2.

Guide to Style?

2009-02-07T13:42:00.003-05:00

I want to be on a makeover television show.

This is not to say I don't know how to dress. I sort of do (sort of.) I can put together an outfit. But half of my clothes don't fit right, I hate all of my suits, and basically I want Tim Gunn to gently tell me what I'm doing wrong and guide me into tasteful pieces. Is that so terrible?

I also want the motivation to clean my apartment. I swear I'd clean if Tim Gunn was coming over.

This Blog Has Reverted to a Series of Links

2009-02-03T00:09:00.002-05:00

The carrot-peeler guy at the Union Square Greenmarket died! So sad. I loved that guy.

Damnit, Simmons!

2009-02-01T23:04:00.000-05:00

OK, fine, I admit it, I cried about Bill Simmons' dog.

Civil Shmoshedure

2009-02-01T16:39:00.004-05:00

I'd much rather be somewhere else right now. Just not here. There is so much work to do right now, and I don't know how it all came out of nowhere or how I am going to get it all done. I hate hate hate my Civil Procedure class. My professor is rude and cruel and doesn't know anything about the subject. It is clear that I am going to have to teach myself this class.

I've got a huge writing assignment due on the 23rd, and so much to get done before then. Hundreds of pages of reading, interviews for summer employment, and a trip to California. I'm just not quite sure how it all fits in.

Oh no! Not a Waif!

2009-01-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

I love my Property textbook this semester.

Many law school textbooks are incredibly dry. Most make better kindling than reading, but not my Property textbook. There is a funny dialogue happening between the textbook editors and the student in the footnotes.

In one of the first cases we read, Ghen v. Rich (about who owns a fin-back whale when it is killed with a specially marked bomb-lance harpoon but then it sinks, and rises 2 days later and is often found miles away from where it was killed by a random person on the beach), the judge described the process of killing a whale as told in a different case: "The first officer of the libellant's ship killed a whale in the Okhotsk sea, anchored it, attached a waif to the body, and then left it and wen ashore at some distance for the night." Our editors added the following footnote: "Worry not! To a whaler a "waif" is not a homeless child but a pole with a little flag on top." - EDS.

In a case we read today, the editors were describing the process of a certain trial for a case about a gift made in contemplation of death (gift causa mortis.) Their footnote said the following: "Julia Newman's lawyer, in closing, 'spoke for about two and a half hours, finishing at 2 o'clock, when the court adjourned for dinner.' (O, for the days when eloquent lawyering could produce a hungry jury! - EDS.)"

I'm enjoying those goofball textbook editors. They make property fun.

Winter Soup

2009-01-26T11:11:00.000-05:00

Things become soup!

So Soon

2009-01-25T20:51:00.002-05:00

I finally booked my next flight out to visit The Magician. I've been waffling for a while, because it's a lot of money, but I'll be going out there on President's Day weekend. (Which just so happens to also be Valentine's Day weekend. Thank you to the gods of the calendar for that one.) And then I'll be traveling again about a month after that for my spring break. And then the week after that is his spring break, so he'll be in New York. And then, soon after, it'll be exam time and the end of the semester and time to spend the entire summer together here in New York.

In some respects, I'm sick of waiting. Every day we spend apart pisses me off. Some days I'm just mad.

And in some ways, it's okay. For the three days I was in California and The Magician was in school, he did next to none of his work. I, clearly, wasn't helping at all, since I had none of my own to do. I am sure that if he were here, I wouldn't be doing anything, either. So there's something to be said for being apart. Something to be said for getting to build our relationship in our own quick/slow way. Quick to love. Slow to wait to be together in person. Quick to learn how.

But seriously...how the FUCK am I supposed to share my closets?

Some As Big As Your Head

2009-01-23T15:44:00.001-05:00

This week began the onslaught of recruiting events for 1Ls. Many of the BigLaw firms in New York hold events for 1Ls at restaurants and bars near school. This is an attempt to get name recognition and to get us to rank them higher in the fall for on-campus recruiting. This week, we shmoozed with attorneys at Rosa Mexicano. They passed out pomegranate margaritas like no one's business, and had lava stones bigger than my head filled with guacamole.

Things I have learned from this experience:
1. There is no elegant way to eat a chimichanga.
2. No more than two drinks at a recruiting event. (Not me, Mom! Not me! One of my classmates got so drunk that she fell over. NOT ME.)
3. Although I may not have done particularly well in college, my school does give me the presumption of being smart.
4. I can make it through recruiting events on discussions about the Red Sox and opera.
5. Every single law firm in New York thinks it is cool to give out branded thumb drives. I now have 5 law firm branded thumb drives sitting in my desk drawer.

In the next few weeks, we have 8 more events. I am sure there will be more stories to come. Really, I can make it through with baseball small talk, right? Right?

Anyone need a thumb drive?

Some Inspiration

2009-01-20T13:04:00.000-05:00

I am the Tree planted by the River,
Which will not be moved.

I, the Rock, I the River, I the Tree
I am yours--your Passages have been paid.

Lift up your faces, you have a piercing need
For this bright morning dawning for you.

History, despite its wrenching pain,
Cannot be unlived, and if faced
With courage, need not be lived again.

Lift up your eyes upon
The day breaking for you. - Maya Angelou

Supremacy Clause

2009-01-16T08:10:00.001-05:00

Mrs. R: I have failed you. I do not remember the Constitution. At all. I cannot tell you which amendments are which. I am sure that at some point, in my AP US History class, you required us to know these things. I have forgotten, and I am sorry. I am really sorry, because it would be helpful right about now.

Me: "I got called on in Constitutional Law today."
The Magician: "How did it go?"
Me: "Well, I didn't know the answer so I talked about something else. She didn't seem to mind."
The Magician: "What was the question?"
Me: "She asked me something about the Supremacy clause. I didn't know what that was."
The Magician: "You don't know what the Supremacy clause is?"
Me: "Uh, no."
The Magician: "I assume you were discussing McCulloch v. Maryland. What did you say?"
Me: "Um...I said something about how that since the people ratified the Constitution and created the federal government, Maryland's tax on the Bank of the U.S. was technically taxing all American people. It only had authority to tax its own constituents, so that's why it was invalid."
The Magician: "So what you're saying is you missed the giant stupid-easy part that the Constitution is supreme over the states, and you proceeded to explain the nuanced and much more complicated argument?"
Me: "Yup."
The Magician: "Well, at least we know you're smart. Also, you really need to re-read the Constitution."

He Actually Heard Me

2009-01-11T00:16:00.004-05:00

Today marks six months since The Magician and I met at our joint last a cappella gig with our New York a cappella groups. He likes to call it "love within a short but reasonable time frame." I like to call it "you only noticed me because of my loud friend in the yellow dress. Oh, and then you told your musical director to make sure you didn't get my number because I was cute but you didn't want to date me due to my first name. And then you did anyway."

For years, I have been coveting a certain bracelet from the New York Public Library. It's made out of typewriter keys. When I was studying for the LSAT, I'd go to the Bryant Park library every afternoon. On my way out, I used to stop every time at the gift shop and just stare at this bracelet. I've dropped hints to every guy I've ever dated in New York, but I didn't remember mentioning it to The Magician. Apparently, I did, and he was actually listening. Because, you know, he actually listens to me when I talk about things. (Mark of a good relationship: boyfriend remembers present hints you don't even remember dropping.)

A few days ago, when I was still in California, the Magician sat down on his bed and turned to me with a confused look on his face.
"I want to get you that necklace you want from the New York Public Library for our anniversary, but all I can find is the bracelet."
"But I wanted the bracelet."
"Shit, I found that! Damnit!"

Happy anniversary, love. I miss your face.

"Skiing in Mammoth", or "I Never Knew It Could Be This Good", or "Dad, I Blame You"

2009-01-10T13:19:00.004-05:00

I'm an east coast girl. We all knew this already. I firmly believe there are no true bagels west of the Hudson River (or, for that matter, east of approximately Central Park - Ess-A-Bagel excepted, of course) and that blueberry bagels are just kidding themselves. I love snow. I love the Red Sox. I will argue that Nantucket's beaches are the best. I prefer Wellfleets over Kumamotos.

But, oh...the skiing. Never have I had such an amazing skiing experience as our trip to Mammoth over break. I just...had...no...idea. My dad has been holding out on me since I was three. Who knew?

When we arrived in Mammoth, we hit the slopes immediately. It had snowed a giant snowstorm the night before, and we were raring to go. The Magician boards (don't judge him, he's not a mean boarder) and so his younger brother (The Magician's bro? TMYB? Eh, let's go with The Card Counter) and I needed to rent skiis and other accoutrements. After spying the line to rent, we decided to demo instead - for an extra $10/day, we could try the best of the best.

Let me tell you something. I hate ski boots with passion. It is my least favorite part of skiing. They cut into your legs. They are hard to put on and take off and make you walk like a cocky cowboy. Let me tell you something else: I WAS SO WRONG. I demoed the most amazing ski boots I have ever worn ever in my life. Instead of tough styrofoam insulation, it was furry and fleecy and warm and SOFT. Also, I demoed the "ski of the year." But who cares. Those boots were so freaking amazing, I could have been skiing on bamboo and I wouldn't have cared.

And then, there was the skiing. "What is this fluffy white stuff," I asked The Magician. "That's Powder, sweetie." "What do you mean? I only know how to ski on ice!"

My dad has been holding out on me. The comfortable boots. The powder. The salad bar (way better than clam chowder and french fries at Wachussett.) I'm never skiing on the east coast ever again.

Hello, I am alive.

2009-01-08T09:03:00.002-05:00

Happy New Year!

I am just returned from my forays into the wilds of California. And I do mean the wilds - we were all over the fucking place.

A word of advice to parents out there: please don't bring your babies on red-eye flights. I know you think it's better because they'll sleep. You are wrong. Your child will wake up screaming every time the captain dings the flight attendant notifications. Everyone around you will shoot daggers at you with their eyes and silently wish death upon you. It is really just the worst idea possible.

More when I've recovered from sleep deprivation.

Guest Writing

2008-12-21T18:00:00.002-05:00

Check out my friend Kevin's blog, where I've contributed this week to "The List That Never Sleeps."

We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Studying

2008-12-17T19:41:00.001-05:00

THE MAGICIAN WILL BE HERE ON SUNDAY.

I repeat.

THE MAGICIAN WILL BE HERE ON SUNDAY.

And then we are going to fly to San Diego together on Tuesday. This is the best news ever. Two fewer days.

Is it Sunday yet?

Oh-oh-oh!

2008-12-15T20:18:00.001-05:00

So I was having this really shitty day, because I had my Contracts final this morning and it was AWFUL. I mean, epic proportions awful. (Fortunately (maybe) law school is graded on a curve and everyone else thought it was awful as well. So maybe I will do ok? Whatever, it's done.)

Anyway, I am in the library right now and was feeling quite feeling demoralized. I'm listening to my iTunes on random and a whole bunch of depressing songs come on in a row. And then...and then. (And gentlemen, and then!) Then I hear the beginning of this:

where it began
I can't begin to knowin
but then I know it's growing strong
wasn't the spring
then spring became the summer
who'd a believed you'd come along
hands touching hands
reaching out
touching me
touching youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

(all together now)
SWEET CAROLINE
good times never seemed so good (so good! so good! so good!)

And then I felt better.

Go Sox. (Yes, I realize it's December and I don't care.)

Double Sigh

2008-12-11T15:55:00.004-05:00

Things on which my life of exam-taking is currently taking a toll:

- My cupboards. I have very little food and have been living on delivery for 3 or 4 days. Probably not good for me, definitely not good for my wallet, and I have no time to grocery shop. Where is my mother when I need her?

- Clothing drawers. I managed to do laundry last weekend, but haven't managed to get it in my drawers. I am living out of a laundry basket.

- Floors. They are covered with stuff. I don't even know what.

- Dishes. Sink full, dishwasher full.

- My hair. No, I cannot do more than just a ponytail.

- My head. Headaches abound every hour of every day.

Sigh, and double sigh. Such is life when your entire semester's grade is based on one three-hour exam.

Gallows Humor

2008-12-08T14:06:00.002-05:00

From E&E for Contracts:

"Consideration can be fun. (Obviously, depending on your idea of fun. It does help to be deranged.)"

Every Single One

2008-12-05T16:00:00.003-05:00

I won't be posting much for a bit. Finals time and all. But while I have a minute, I just want to rejoice: I attended every single class this semester. Every single one. Let us just step back for a second and ponder this.

I don't have a great history of this. In fact, I believe we can all agree that my big downfall was expressly NOT attending every single one of my classes for one semester in college. (OK, fine. I concede that I just stopped going all together. Whatever.) Before I started law school I promised myself that I would attend every class 1L year. Even if it meant missing something else. Even though that ended up meaning missing Rosh Hashanah.

But I did it. I went to every class. Even every single optional class.

Now I just have to do it all over again next semester.

Mass Transit

2008-11-26T21:30:00.004-05:00

for every minute yesterday
regret reminds me anyway
if I remember anything
I'll make mistakes again

Came home last night by way of a 45 minute delay in Penn Station and a train to Providence. It is approximately 50 degrees in my parents' house and last night I curled up in bed with two pairs of socks and an extra sweatshirt. I still woke up freezing.

We went to go visit my family friend who was in a motorcycle accident over Labor Day weekend. Today was his first full day home in three months. It was wonderful to see him, and he looked a lot better than I expected. Still, it is clear that the accident aged him and he was visibly much more tired when we left than when we had arrived. Christmas tree is in less than a month - here's hoping he's healed enough to make sure that Danny Ainge makes it onto that tree.

It's weird to be home. We've all settled into our normal patterns, and still insist on using the 4oz cups that we used as kids. My cousin came from college in upstate New York and we're all sitting in the den with dueling computers. (Literally there are five laptops in here right now. Ridiculous.) I'm glad to have the break and glad to be with family...but my little secret is that I really, really wish that The Magician was here.

Odds and Ends from the Week

2008-11-21T13:45:00.002-05:00

When I handed in my long memo on Monday I promptly felt like I had also handed in my brain. After three straight weeks of full-on effort and craziness, the sense of relief flooding through my class was palpable. We all immediately turned into people who could not string two sentences together since all of our writing efforts had been overtaxed.

And when I say craziness, I really mean craziness. On the Friday before the memo was due, I decided that the solution to my memo problems was Post-It Notes. I had to have those big, rectangular, lined Post-It Notes. If I had the Post-It Notes, I would be able to write summaries of each case on them and stick them to the front of the case. I was sure that this would organize my thoughts. That would then lead to understanding whatever the heck I was supposed to be talking about and finishing the writing. So, on Friday night, I went to three different stores in search of lined Post-It Notes and had no intention of stopping until I found them. I'm reasonably certain that had I not, I would have never finished my memo on time.

Awesome words that I managed to work into my memo: proffered, corroborate.

Awesome things Professor Thel talked about in the Contracts class we had 15 minutes after our memos were due: pregnant cows, ninjas, pate, and appendectomies.

Awesome facts from Torts this week: If you own a tiger, you are strictly liable if that tiger injures someone. I bet you always wanted to know that.

Countdown

2008-11-18T12:49:00.000-05:00

Am I allowed to start counting down yet? 35 days...

Turned In

2008-11-17T09:05:00.004-05:00

I turned in my long memo (at 2489 words, the longest thing I've written since a 25 page paper on Milton senior year that I wrote the night before it was due) last night about 12 hours before it was due. Hours, no, days of agonizing research and poring over my Bluebook sent in just a few seconds. Won't get it back until January. But that's okay - it's done and out of my mind. (Haha, yeah, right, because I totally dreamed about it last night. Oh well.)

I have a couple of days to take some deep breaths and steel myself for finals coming up in less than a month. Scary, but true - in less than a month they actually expect me to know something. I'm not exactly sure what, yet. But I've conquered two memos and a lot of legalese so far...I'll figure it out.

FAIRway

2008-11-14T09:53:00.000-05:00

Last week, I went shopping for groceries at Fairway. Fairway is the best grocery store in the city, and I was excited to pick up some things to bring to school for lunch. After I got home, I realized that the turkey I had purchased for sandwiches never made it into my grocery bag. Not having time, I glanced at the receipt to make sure there was no policy I had to follow. All the receipt said was "refunds and returns given within 4 days." "OK," I thought to myself, "I can make it back there by Friday."

On Friday afternoon, I went back to Fairway and headed upstairs to customer service. When I asked for my $8.18 back since the item had been missing, the clerk asked me if I had called the store to notify them about it.

Me: "I didn't know I needed to do that."
Clerk: "Well, that's just common sense."
Me: "Says who?"
Clerk: "That's just what you do when an item is missing!"
Me: "Well, it doesn't say that I have to do that on the receipt. It just says that I can get a refund within 4 days."
Clerk: "Uhhhhh...let me get the manager."

After the manager came over, things got more interesting.

Manager: "If you had called the store, then we would have written it down in our book and it would have been no problem to give you the refund."
Me: "How was I supposed to know that I had to do that?"
Manager: "It's common sense! You should have called or come back that day!"
Me: "I am a law student! I have no time! I spend 18 hours a day in the library!"
Manager: "We would have delivered the item to your apartment."
Me: "Nowhere on the receipt does it say that I have to call the store. If you're going to have that policy, then you have to let your customers know about it. Post a sign. Put it on the receipt. You can't enforce a rule if you don't notify anyone that they are bound by it."
Clerk: "You're going to give her the money, right?"

Yes...I got my $8.18, thank you very much.

Wherein My Reproductive Organs Go Nuts Over a Zoo Animal

2008-11-12T12:53:00.003-05:00

Me: Oh, look at the baby pygmy hippo! Look at the baby pygmy hippo! Oh, she's so cute! Oh, look at her go! Her mommy rejected her and now the zoo is her mommy! She is so tiny and cute! I want a baby pygmy hippo!
The Magician: In the course of our relationship, this is the girliest you have ever been. And you are not usually overwhelmingly girly.
Me: Baby pygmy hippo! BABY PYGMY HIPPO!
The Magician: Oh my G-d.
Me: SO CUTE!

The Magician [in head]: What the fuck is wrong with her?
Me [in head]: Holy crap I want a baby.

When We Were Young

2008-11-09T22:11:00.001-05:00

My bed would be a boat, and we would tie the laundry basket to one of the legs and that was our dog's boat. And then we were sailing.

There is still a piece of kitchen string tied to the leg of my bed.

Currently Reconsidering His Offer

2008-11-07T17:16:00.001-05:00

If you promise to marry a woman so that her mother can become Vice President, and then her mother does not in fact become Vice President, is your promise binding?

Things I Do To Avoid Doing Work

2008-11-03T10:15:00.002-05:00

I avoid doing schoolwork. I avoid doing schoolwork by distracting myself with other things. I look at pictures of my friends' children, especially ones of them in adorable Halloween costumes. I watch repeats of the Gilmore Girls. I stare out my window at traffic on the avenue.

I play with Play-Doh. Especially the awesome extruder that The Magician bought me this weekend, which extrudes Play-Doh in different shapes.

I think about cooking something and then just end up eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead. I browse Amazon, an activity that could last years if I wanted it to. I fold my clothes. I reorganize the pictures on my refrigerator. I create Facebook photo albums.

This is all to say that I know I can be working harder and in a more focused way than I currently am. And so here I am, resolved to do just that. More directed. More focused. More scheduled.

Less internet.

Oh, Continental

2008-10-30T16:48:00.002-04:00

Email received from Continental: "Hey, check in to your flight online now!"
Me: Cool! Let's do it.

[Goes to website. Pushes all the right buttons. Clicks on all the right things. Tells Continental she is over the age of 13 and will be checking one bag. Submits request.]

Continental website: Sorry, can't check you in online. You'll have to go to the airport.
Me: Auuuuuuugh, stop wasting my damn time!

Allo, C'est Moi A L'Appareil

2008-10-28T21:44:00.005-04:00

Do you know how hard it is to not pick up the phone and call someone when that is all you want to do? Do you? Do you know what it's like when you reach for the phone every 10 minutes and have to consciously stop yourself from dialing? Do you?

Actually, I do. When my ex-boyfriend and I broke up I spent days talking myself out of picking up the phone. Talking to him was habit I had to break. I set goals. Limits. I'd make it three days, and then extend it to a week, then two, three, four. Replaced phone calls to him with phone calls to all the friends I'd neglected during the decline.

The Magician is writing a memo tonight, and I promised we wouldn't talk until it was time for me to go to bed. Swore I wouldn't disturb him while he wrote, because I knew he needed it.

I used to be addicted to the potential in a phone call. And now, here I am right back there. Addicted to the possibility of the sound of someone's voice. Addicted to the chance that he might say something, well, magical.

When I fall, I fall. Hard. And fast.

Consider this me at the bottom of the stairs.

Welcome!

2008-10-26T13:37:00.003-04:00

To those readers who have been sent here from Ann Levine's awesome law school admissions blog, welcome! This is a personal blog that I have been writing for some time, and since now I'm a 1L with no life other than law school, most of what I write about involves school.

If you're really only interested in my law school experience, you can click on the "law school" label and all of my posts relating to law school will come up. If you go back far enough, you can read about my struggle with choosing a law school, and my gut reactions to the first days of 1L orientation.

If you have any questions, I'd be happy to try and answer them. I don't think I really know anything yet, but at least I can say...I've lived through it. I've been there. And if there is anything I can do to make your admissions process easier, I'd be happy to - mine sure was complicated enough.

Gaily They Ring While People Sing

2008-10-24T09:37:00.002-04:00

I am now a bell.

In my Contracts class, we've moved on to offer, acceptance, and interpretation of contracts. Apparently the issue of when a contract is created is murky enough for some people that my Contracts professor decided we needed clarification. Something to notify us when a contract has been made. Hence, the bell.

It is now my job to ding like a bell when a contract is made.

Take for example, this situation:
- Worker has a 1 year contract with a company
- Worker goes to his boss for a new contract because his has expired
- Worker says "hey, I need a new contract or I'm leaving"
- Boss says "what's going on in your department?"
- Worker says "hey, we're really busy"
- Boss says "you're all right, go back to work"

Did you see the contract get made? Did you? No? OK, let me help you out.

- Worker has a 1 year contract with a company
- Worker goes to his boss for a new contract because his has expired
- Worker says "hey, I need a new contract or I'm leaving"
- Boss says "what's going on in your department"
- Worker says "hey, we're really busy"
- Boss says "you're all right, go back to work"
- DING!

Little did my Contracts professor know that he was calling upon the services of a veteran a cappella singer and syllable-writer. I know how to ding with resonance! Apparently, this is my job now. To ding. (And also to cover all of the Massachusetts and Missouri cases. But the ding-ing is the best part.)

I'm thinking about investing in a gong.

In Crim Law Class

2008-10-23T14:45:00.002-04:00

[Talking about looters during Hurricane Katrina and if they had a necessity defense available to them.]

Classmate: "Well, wasn't there like, food available during Hurricane Katrina? Didn't they have a valid alternative legal option?"
Professor: "Um, no, no that was the PROBLEM with Hurricane Katrina."

Chung-chung!

2008-10-21T19:46:00.001-04:00

I am happy to report that law school has only heightened my enjoyment of Law and Order.

Not Convinced Today Could Be Worse

2008-10-20T15:34:00.002-04:00

1. Got called on in Contracts. It was fine, but I was on edge all class.
2. The Red Sox lost. It could have been Tek's last game as Captain of the Sox ever. This led me to tears this morning.
3. My memo is due at 7pm.
4. I got my period.

Seriously, I feel like a high school teenager and I have switched places.

Princess Jobby McJobJob

2008-10-17T16:46:00.000-04:00

The international organization of law schools that my school belongs to has a rule for handling first-year students. Schools aren't allowed to begin working with us regarding summer jobs until November 1st. We're also not allowed to apply for anything until December 1st. This is for our own sanity, as they want us to get acclimated to the law school environment before they start to bombard us with job search information.

Of course, my school broke the rules (apparently they asked permission, but who knows) and gave a presentation on Wednesday that included a handout of the biggest binder filled with information I have ever seen in my life. Seriously, this was a 4-inch ring binder with 20 separate tabs on the job search. It weighed 20 pounds. It barely fits in my locker. In a word: overwhelming.

I really wanted to stand up in the middle of the presentation and scream "BUT I JUST QUIT MY JOB!" Apparently I am already supposed to be thinking about my next job. I don't know how this is possible - I can barely think ahead to the next four hours.

Anyone wanna give me a job?

Not Gonna Write You

2008-10-14T10:27:00.003-04:00

Sitting here at my new desk in the sunshine of my apartment, surveying the rest of they layout. I don't think I've ever really looked out from this corner before, but I can see everything from here. The light is amazing and if I turn my head just a little, I can watch the cars go by on the avenue. The leaves on one of the trees are finally starting to turn a burnished red, and people are putting those stupid sweaters on their dogs.

It finally feels appropriate to be in school. It's the right time of year for school. The weather is chilly enough to wear sweaters and in the mornings, I walk by mothers taking their children by the hand to cross the street to the elementary school up the block. I haven't entirely switched out my summer clothes yet, but it seems imminent.

It's change time. Political election time. Strengthening of relationships time so things will be solid through the winter. I feel my friendships at school solidifying and I feel like I can start to be myself around the people I constantly see. Which is good. Cause the person I am? She's a huge dork. And I like her.

Free Food

2008-10-10T10:24:00.001-04:00

I've discovered the secret to getting law students to come to your events. It doesn't matter if you are going to present the most accomplished panel on a certain topic, or if you're showing a movie with the best actors in the world. If you don't have free food at your event, no one is going to show up.

This week was my school's birthday, and the Dean arranged to have cupcakes brought in from Buttercup Bakery to celebrate. I love a good cupcake just as much as the next person, but with the way the students reacted, you would have thought that there was solid gold baked into these things. They were gone from the cafe in approximately 20 minutes. Trust me, they were good...just not that good. And there wasn't any red velvet!

The atrium area of our school is often the host for local law events as well, and these events are often catered. Apparently law students are so hungry that not only will they sneak into these events for the food, but there is even a Facebook group that will send out alerts to its members when someone spots a mini-quiche. The group's description is "They seem to have an event every day. We swoop in and borrow their food, drink their wine, and ride into the night. No one the wiser."