Needing Control.

I have a hive on my pinky.

Poor baby. She's got a hive on her pinky. No one cares. I care! Do you understand how annoying this is? It's completely unpredicable! One day I wake up and no hives. Next day, hives all over my arms. Next day, nothing. Next day, pinky. I can't control it and it's driving me up the wall so much that I went and looked up all of my textbooks online. Because textbooks? Textbooks I can control.

I crave control in my life. I like telling people what to do and when. I like telling The Magician that it's his turn to wash the dishes, or that he has to carry the laundry for me. I like meting out my schedule in tiny bits to others. Going down to 15-minute blocks. It doesn't matter that some days I'm derailed by 11am, and some days I don't stick to it all. I just like the process of scheduling.

I cannot schedule this. I'm going to have to take it as it comes. Even if that's in the middle of an interview with a law firm. "Excuse me, I need to go deal with my pinky for a moment."